Never wrestle with pigs. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States. Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. So if youre going to steal your neighbors newspaper, thats the time to do it. Check out the below helpful posts all about self-care: Four Simple and Fulfilling Physical Self-Care Ideas, Easy Ways to Practice Emotional Self-Care, Your email address will not be published. You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. I want to achieve it through not dying. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Wholesalers will be introduced to the Value-First Selling System, a state-of-the-art sales process designed specifically for todays inside wholesaler selling in todays unique financial marketplace. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. He said okay, youre ugly too. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. They say marriages are made in Heaven. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit. If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery? RIP to all the hours I spent explaining myself to other people. It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another persons plate. I said, Thyroid problem? Haters are just confused admirers because they cant figure out the reason why everyone loves you. Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. He is the founder of the American Seminar Leaders Association and is a popular presenter at national meetings and conferences, including the Million Dollar Round Table. Laughter is good. sasquatch You can follow me on twitter for some motivational/personal tweets. 10 Self-Care Journals to Add to Your Cart, Self-Care for Mental Health in Uncertain Times, Five Simple and Fulfilling Physical Self-Care Ideas. So far, so good. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'keepinspiring_me-medrectangle-4','ezslot_23',823,'0','0'])};if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-keepinspiring_me-medrectangle-4-0')}; These humorous observation quotes are a great way to reflect and add some levity to daily situations. funny quotes believing believe yourself cat anything quotesgram animal Political correctness is tyranny with manners. We are all here on earth to help others. A man doesnt know what he knows until he knows what he doesnt know. If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. Dont forget to drink water and get some sun. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. I was married by a judge. These funny quotes are some of the best we could find from hilarious actors and comics alike. The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. Self-care is the greatest middle finger of all time. The only bathroom law Im interested in is one that bans loud sighing. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Theres a fine line between genius and insanity. cant understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. Inside wholesalers will learn the art, as well as the science, of prospecting, qualifying, selling to ideal prospects, time management, creating new profitable relationships, referral generation, setting up effective call rotations, etc. I think youre doing a beautiful job figuring some heavy shit out. Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. If your parents never had children, chances are neither will you. Its true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? peanuts Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman or a bad woman. When youre in love its the most glorious two and a half days of your life. The following organizations have participated in Wholesaler Institute events: This program will be conducted virtually via Zoom meetings, Getting call backs and through gatekeepers, Handling objections and closing on next step, Copyright 2021. We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations were doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. believe bropls Try approving of yourself and see what happens. Louise L. Hay, Its not your job to like meits mine! Byron Katie, Youre always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company. Diane Von Furstenberg, Your problem is youre too busy holding onto your unworthiness. Ram Dass, I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly. Oscar Wilde, If youre searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror. Unknown, I am a queen because I know how to govern myself. Lailah Gifty Akita, Accept who you are. believe yourself sasquatch else even quote meme The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. 30 Self-Acceptance Quotes That Will Have You Thinking, 36 Inspiring Quotes About Self Confidence, 40 Quotes To Inspire You To Take Care of Yourself, Love Yourself Quotes 40 Inspiring Quotes on Self-Acceptance, Resilience Quotes Focusing & Learning To Bounce Back, Positive Adjectives List of 400+ Positive Describing Words, Mindset Quotes Why Mindset Is So Important For Success & Happiness, 50 Motivational Mindset Quotes That Inspire Action. When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what?. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Im not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. You dont have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. Its a recession when your neighbor loses his job; its a depression when you lose yours. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. I feel ten years older already. There is a voice that doesnt use words. Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. Life begins at 40 but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. believe bropls We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. boop The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. believe yourself don quotes sayings quotlr dont Paul Karasik, a leading authority in the financial industry, has devoted 18 years to helping financial industry professionals achieve their goals. Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of whats left of you. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. Then hes finished. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. Im too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener. I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! Quincy is KIM's lead editor and content writer, and has invested in online properties since 2009. You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. Unless youre in the woods and youre lost and you see a path. I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife) but still my own. When I eventually met Mr. Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law. People often say that motivation doesnt last. Sports are the reason I am out of shape. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. believe yourself don meme quotes running motivational And if your name is on your shirt, youre poor. A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Never follow anyone elses path. If it costs you your peace of mind, youve overpaid. High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. I have erased this line. Whoever said money cant buy happiness didnt know where to shop. I am an early bird and a night owl so I am wise and I have worms. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. Do not pour your sunshine into someone who does not think of you as their sky. It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. Unfortunately, they dont have a J.O.B. Please see our disclosure for more info. The atmosphere of the program is motivational; the content is concise, and achievement driven. Never have more children than you have car windows. believe quotes lie yourself while much special If your name is on your desk, youre middle class. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. After that who cares? Hes a mile away and youve got his shoes! A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh), Dont belittle yourself. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks hes wrong. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. He wont expect it back. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. believe The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. War is Gods way of teaching Americans geography. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. boop Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. The road to success is always under construction. Light travels faster than sound. Unless youre a serial killer. Ellen DeGeneres, When you realize your self-worth youll stop giving people discounts. Unknown, The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. Maya Angelou, Self-love seems so often unrequited. Anthony Powell, We must not allow other peoples limited perceptions to define us. Virginia Satir, Lets begin by taking a smallish nap or two. A. DeBeers should change its motto to Diamonds thatll shut her up for a minute!. A camel is a horse designed by a committee. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. Sometimes you just need to lie on the couch and read for a couple of years. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. Here are some hilarious funny inspirational quotes from some famous people and some not-so-famous people. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn;t that long ago we were swept away by the Macarena. This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left. Closing More Sales from the Inside enlists a variety of interactive adult learning technologies. A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. If I wasnt a golfer, I would still be miserable but not as miserable. Its only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames. The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider mans best friend is his dog. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Any pizza can be a personal pizza if you have the right attitude. So she set boundaries and began to rebuild her life. I dont want to achieve immortality through my work. yourself believe cartoon believing order obstacle greater something inside than any We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it. Johnny Depp, Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. Maxwell Maltz, LOreals slogan because youre worth it has come to epitomise banal narcissism of early 21st century capitalism; easy indulgence and effortless self-love all available at a flick of the credit card. Geoff Mulgan, One advantage of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. A. Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. Make sure to share it with me below. You are what you eat. Get in, loser; were healing and falling in love with ourselves again. Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax. Closing More Sales from the Inside will enable your inside team to unleash their selling power by implementing the best practices of the most successful wholesalers. sasquatch My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. Participants will receive a roadmap for success with a comprehensive, strategic, and tactical approach to inside wholesaling. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. funny quotes believing believe yourself cat anything quotesgram animal Listen. The only reason some people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory. Ive got all the money Ill ever need, if I die by four oclock. Whether its self-care, self-love, relationships, or motherhood, quotes can have a powerful way of speaking to our soul and help us feel seen and validated in our experience. Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. yourtango quotesdeep I stopped waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and lit that bitch up myself. Its not always easy to practice self-love and compassion. Who else is there better to be? Golden Hawn, Yes, I am weird, weird is good. As a child my familys menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you dont have the money to buy both. Sometimes simply observing daily life provides enough funny quotes to make you laugh. imforeverjustyours hocker The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. If youre too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. Lucille Ball, The only way to keep your health is to eat what you dont want, drink what you dont like, and do what youd rather not. Mark Twain, When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite, When I was around 18, I looked in the mirror and said, Youre either going to love yourself or hate yourself. And I decided to love myself. Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. Invariably they are both disappointed. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); I smiled reading them all, thanks for sharing Don't ask what others have done for you, but ask what you have done for others. I had plastic surgery last week I cut up my credit cards. And show up, anyway. Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them. Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself. Never underestimate the power of laughter its a powerful form of self-care. Before you marry a person, you should at least make them use a computer with a slow internet connection to find out who they really are. A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. Im staying home today. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron? When you go to work, if your name is on the building, youre rich. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Be BIG yourself. Corita Kent, It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love. Voltaire, I dont wear the opinions of others anymore, I learnt to dress myself. Nikki Rowe, The bags under my eyes are Prada.Unknown, Do your thing and dont care if they like it. Tina Fey, Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside. Unknown, Loving yourself isnt vanity. Procrastination: Is it really a bad thing. In the words of Tom Wilson: A smile is a facelift thats in everyones price range!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'keepinspiring_me-medrectangle-3','ezslot_8',847,'0','0'])};if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-keepinspiring_me-medrectangle-3-0')}; Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Inside me theres a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. My friend Eddy Eye, Always said this. All you need is love. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Remember, you cant pour from an empty cup. Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, Oh crap, shes up! Unknown, I think everybodys weird. The hardest part of the journey is believing you are worthy of the trip. If you live to be one hundred, youve got it made. Perhaps yours is watching television. And sometimes you go out shopping and theres nothing you like. If at first you dont succeed, quit. This is my cup of care. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. A smile is a facelift thats in everyones price range! My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. bunny quotes cute chibird believe thoughts motivation positive motivational happy encouragement cheer quote central yourself inspirational friend things believe yourself quotes always quotesgram quote accountability, and value add programs., The Wholesaler Bootcamp provided me with the strategies needed to maximize my sales.. If you think you have it tough, read history books. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh), You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasnt worked. believe yourself tiger meme quotes kitten memes funny reflection cats tigers Americans are incredibly impatient. Comment and tell me your favorite! As some of the largest wholesaling teams are eliminating all external wholesalers and converting to a hybrid/inside model, it has become abundantly clear the importance of the inside role has become paramount. Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties. Combine those together and you have something that can help you become a better person while having an awesome time. Normal is overrated. Mad-D, Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner. Lao Tzu, The things that make me different are the things that make me me. A. When a man opens a car door for his wife, its either a new car or a new wife. How To Make A Vision Board Even If You Dont Have A 5-Year Plan. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Well, neither does bathing thats why we recommend it daily., I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific., There are no traffic jams along the extra mile., People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do., If you hit the target every time its too near or too big., You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.. Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Im crazy about myself. Mae West, If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. Frank Zappa, The nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops. Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. Weve got you covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. Well, neither does bathing thats why we recommend it daily. Properly trained and coached, the internal sales team will close more sales on their own, in addition to working with their team to move sales forward. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh), I have an everyday religion that works for me. Im sick of following my dreams, man. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do. cute quotes kitten yourself inspiring believe kittens inspirational cat cats leadership posters thanks many international motivational positive quote association cutest This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Age is an issue of mind over matter. Going to church doesnt make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Technology session was huge, as well as implementing sound and repeatable processes., Best place for me to get ideas that drive my business!, Roadmap for wholesaling success! Motivation is even better. Some fit better than others. It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose! believe yourself don quotes sayings quotlr dont Heres to our wives and girlfriends may they never meet! When we talk to God, were praying. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who werent smart enough to get out of jury duty. Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. But a confident bald man theres your diamond in the rough. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. His other books include: Seminar Selling for the Financial Industry, published by McGraw-Hill and How to Market to High-Net-Worth Households. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. Older people shouldnt eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. As you get older three things happen. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. I am not an early bird or night owl; Im some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon. Nobody provides laughs like comedians. . Sales segmentation was extremely valuable., Practical, relevant and state-of-the-art training., Invaluable techniques for qualifying and working effectively with the inside team!, Powerful group sharing and a goldmine of strategies to improve sales results., Introduction to Value-First Selling Program, How to Establish Profitable Sales Relationships, Scripting: The Path to Duplicable Success, Highly engaging, fast-paced sessions generated timely solutions., Numerous tactical ideas were discussed that we leveraged into our business., Learning from my peers was one of many highlights., Fantastic formatGreat cutting-edge ideas I can use!. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. peanuts Quincy holds an MBA from the University of Dundee and an MSc from the University of Edinburgh, and lives in San Antonio with his wife Natalie, son Alex, and his dog Oban. Then quit. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. I dont believe in astrology; Im a Sagittarius and were skeptical. You have to go after it with a club., Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die., Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings., A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure., Even if you are on the right track, youll get run over if you just sit there., Life is like a sewer what you get out of it depends on what you put into it., The road to success is always under construction., Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor., There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot., Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds., People often say that motivation doesnt last. If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, its another nonconformist who doesnt conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

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